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Find You There

by Aidan Bailey Williams

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1.
Come See Me 03:58
In a humid room On a contact high I just called up to see if you had thought about stopping on by I know that I'm amusing To you and your kind But I had hoped that you'd still try to see me in some kind of light I waited up thinking you'd call me back I waited up feeling alright If hope is my lover then dismissal's the tear in my eye If you still plan to come see It's best if you come with some speed Tonight I can feel my old habits calling for me I break my tongue on the words I cough up Thinking if love is an answer then surely this should be enough I can't contradict that Nor speak too soon I'm not the thorn in your side; I'm more like the nail in your shoe Still I waited up hoping you'd notice me I waited up feeling okay If I don't see dust, will I ever know you're on your way? If you still plan to come see It's better if you come with some speed Tonight I can feel my old habits calling for me If you still plan to come see It's best if you come with some speed Tonight I can feel my old habits calling for me
2.
You were on your way to call me I was on my way to give a damn We met halfway and decided that you're better then I am I've got a box full of letters, not one of them's got a stamp I can't hear the sound of laughter I can't stand the taste of tears I've been drying for a week now but I'll never last the year When all is said and done, it's a come-up that I fear So I dust the box off and I scribble your address I lose my faculties and I crumble to a mess But I feel blessed to pull my head up from my chest Because I know my words will find you there In the place where I'll be missed You were heated when you called me I was defensive because I was scared I took it badly when you scolded me and that broke me then and there I got wasted and I hated you; I resented how you cared So I stumbled to my car I fumbled with my keys I pulled my wits out through my teeth said "why the hell should I need these?" I swear I saw you for a second right before I hit the trees Will you dust the box off and scribble in my mom's address Curse my name and light a fire in your chest, or will you just rest? Know there was nothing that you could do I only ever spoke the honest truth to you
3.
Funeral 04:48
She wakes up to tell him that she loves him He don't wake up to hear the good news He's fallen asleep for the last time tonight Traded light for a dark kind of tune The kids will come down for a couple of weeks Shuffle papers and talk about his life Finding hidden old wishes and confessional kisses Then leave before it's her turn to cry The funeral was brief and like a bad kind of joke They got his hometown and his kids' names both wrong But we were all moved to tears when his brother stood up and sang a version of his favorite song So we hold on to a ghost of his memories Built on laughter and a couple of frowns And I can't help but think about how they fucked up our names and forgot what to call his home town They prepare you for grief in the highest They don't tell you about all the work on the back end and the time Calling debtors and friends while you've still got your head For God's sake get mama some wine We've taken hundreds of messages from strangers and from friends I think the fridge just might burst at the seams I think mama might start a riot if she ever sees a lily again So we hold on to a ghost of his memories Built on laughter and a couple of frowns And I can't help but laugh about how they fucked up our names and forgot what to call his home town She's stronger than iron a sharper than steel I guess i'm glad he went first in a way Still I wish that I could or maybe wish I know how To say "I love you and I hope you're okay"

credits

released February 23, 2020

Written and performed by Aidan Bailey Williams

Recorded by Shawn Cline

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Aidan Bailey Williams Alexandria, Virginia

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